37 Years of Lessons So You Don’t Have to Learn Them the Hard Way
(And more importantly, so I can revisit them in Year 38.)
It’s okay to choose wrong.
I am not Superman.
Life isn’t a movie—justice and fairness aren’t promised. And that’s okay.
You don’t have to be put together, know what you’re doing, or even have all your crap figured out to be a functioning person. That’s okay.
Don’t strive for fearlessness—strive for bravery.
It’s okay to cry. Blubbering like a baby as a grown man is important, and anyone who tells you different is a child.
Being a side character in your own life is a choice. Choose different.
You deserve to be loved—even if you started out bad, hurt people, or were just a trashcan of a human. You still deserve love.
It’s not too late to try again.
Success isn’t tangible; it’s being able to look in the mirror and like the person staring back at you. Everything else is just icing.
Being cheated on is not a reflection of you. It will feel like it is. It will make you question everything about yourself. But their inability to love you the way you deserve says everything about them and nothing about you. Don’t let them convince you otherwise.
You aren’t going to be for everyone. That’s going to hurt. No matter who tells you it shouldn’t—it will. And that’s okay. It’s okay to not be for them.
You aren’t innocent, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to be mistreated.
Strive to have a beautiful soul, not just a beautiful body.
Because it bears repeating: Cry. Cry if you have to. Cry if you don’t. Cry alone. Cry with others. Let it out, because you’ve been told too many times to stop when you just weren’t ready to.
There is more to life than being in love—but being in love sure does add flavor to the whole thing. And if you can’t find someone to be in love with, be in love with you.
Moments are finite. Spend less time arguing. Less time sleeping on the couch. Less time being pissed about nothing. Less time thinking you have more of it.
Smile. You deserve to.
Depression isn’t the enemy—it’s the reminder that you were happy once, and you can be happy again.
Anyone who tells you that you’re “too negative” or is annoyed by your pain isn’t bad. They just have their own stuff going on and need a little space to feel that too.
It’s okay to still make wishes at 11:11.
One real friend is better than a hundred acquaintances.
Call your mom.
Forgive your dad.
When someone asks how you are, “Trying” is a complete sentence. And a completely acceptable answer.
You are more than where you came from.
Arrested development is a thing. It doesn’t make you broken. It just means you have to work a little harder.
When you feel like ending your life, know that there are people who would really miss you if you weren’t around. Both people you know and people you haven’t even met yet.
Believe in yourself, and eventually, everyone else will too.
You don’t have to know all the answers. No one does.
Anger is normal. But it’s just a mask for whatever is really hurting you.
Heartbreak is almost never avoidable. Not giving something your all is.
Pray for pain and pleasure in equal measure. You’ll get both, whether you pray for them or not. But at least if you do, you can expect them.
Dream big. Full stop.
Goal bigger. Fuller stop.
Love without restraint. It will hurt you—I promise. It will crush everything inside of you. People will take advantage of it. But it will make sure that when it’s all over, you can say you truly loved. And that is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
Wear your heart on your sleeve. Be verbose. Be unapologetically yourself. People will love it. They will hate it. They will judge it. But mostly—they will envy it. No matter which of these they do, in the end, you will teach them that being themselves is the coolest thing they can do.
Well said brother.